I need coffee like I need air...
I need truth and responsibility...
Am I tired yet?
Yes.
Will I make it?
Sure.
Just a heads up:
Orange Smiles and Simple Truths
my first published book of poems, will be available for download and or purchase in 8 wks. I'm rather excited considering I wanted to be Jim Morrison through most of my teens. I believe I have settled comfortably into just being me in recent years. C. Michelle Smith, the poet. (the student, the author, the mom, the tired girl who loves to dance).
I will post a link then.
Hope all Thanksgiving days were thankful.
Be grateful grateful grateful she shouted.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Tuesday, October 6, 2009
Book Reviews
Here is another of my dad's book reviews:
10/04 Clint gave 4 stars to: Cities of the Plain (Border Trilogy, Vol 3) by Cormac McCarthy
status: Read in September, 2009
I often think about the ending of this book. Being a McCarthy aficionado I read it in 1995 when it was published. It is my favorite of the Border Trilogy books and like the other two stands on its' own with the support of the other books
add a comment
10/04 Clint gave 4 stars to: The Crossing (Border Trilogy, Vol 2) by Cormac McCarthy
status: Read in October, 2009
My least favorite of the border trilogy, mainly because of the opening section with the wolf. I find this to be too unrealistic (I do not expect McCarthy to be totally realistic but this is too much), too long, often awkwardly written, and just not a well told story.
After the wolf leaves the stage, I find the book much better. Some of the digressions with the people Billy meets seem forced and too long, but that is a minor quibble.
McCarthy often makes me think that humans are unneeded interlopers on the world and The Crossing does this as much as any of his work.
10/04 Clint gave 4 stars to: Cities of the Plain (Border Trilogy, Vol 3) by Cormac McCarthy
status: Read in September, 2009
I often think about the ending of this book. Being a McCarthy aficionado I read it in 1995 when it was published. It is my favorite of the Border Trilogy books and like the other two stands on its' own with the support of the other books
add a comment
10/04 Clint gave 4 stars to: The Crossing (Border Trilogy, Vol 2) by Cormac McCarthy
status: Read in October, 2009
My least favorite of the border trilogy, mainly because of the opening section with the wolf. I find this to be too unrealistic (I do not expect McCarthy to be totally realistic but this is too much), too long, often awkwardly written, and just not a well told story.
After the wolf leaves the stage, I find the book much better. Some of the digressions with the people Billy meets seem forced and too long, but that is a minor quibble.
McCarthy often makes me think that humans are unneeded interlopers on the world and The Crossing does this as much as any of his work.
Sunday, October 4, 2009
Monday, September 21, 2009
Beautiful Birthday
I never knew until yesterday how exhausting pulling off a birthday party could be. My little girl turned 2 yrs old and must be extremely loved because 60 people came to her party. We had it at the park in my hometown. It was a beautiful day filled with moments to remember. Kids played at the park, rode bikes and played basketball, while Dad cooked hot dogs for everyone with beans to the side. People who I had'nt seen in years came to celebrate. The party was extremely successful in every aspect. When I layed down in bed last night I teared up about it all. It was not that long ago that I was the girl on the bike playing in the park. Now it is my daughter and the most wonderful thing about it all is that those same people ,minus a few great ones, that celebrated my youth that were there with us yesterday to help her celebrate the beginning of her own. Time has put on his running shoes and if I stop to blink I feel like I will miss something perfect and wonderful happening right in front of me, but all the same I am grateful to know that I am building a strong foundation for her to build her life upon. Happy Birthday Wookie.
Tuesday, September 15, 2009
RIP Patrick Swayze
I cannot decide what I want to be today. Am I a student who studied for her test or one who is ditracted by her insane need to contemplate new ventures every five minutes? I suppose the important thing is that I keep trying and investing my time into the flavors that savor at the moment and embrace the chaos that is me. Today I think I will be a spoken word poet who passes her industrial economics class with raging color. Maybe tonight I will design the best greeting card of all time. Most importantly, Rest in peace Patrick Swayze. He was a beautiful, talented man. I have spent many moments of my life recreating his dance moves and singing his songs. He truly radiated love.
Monday, September 14, 2009
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Focus
I am not on the positivity track right now and I really do need to be. Between the hustle and bustle of my everyday routine and my insane need to examine every aspect of eveything around me, I am mentally exhausted (at least for today). It is a shame how we let the condemnations of others affect our inner peace when we know our good strongly out weighs our faults. I am making a change today. A change only noticeable to myself. An unspoken change of freedom. A simple moment of letting go. A moment to move forward. I think I will get some sleep tonight and refresh my body and mind so that I can get back to my laws of attraction and all of the good things that I am blessed with. Being successful or at least heading in that direction is time consuming and requires great attention to detail. A wise person told me yesterday that there is such a thing as being too busy. Lol, well I say not if you plan it right. So it is here that I wander back to the future.
Friday, September 4, 2009
Wednesday, September 2, 2009
Dis-ease (Arachnoid Cyst/Guillain-Barre)
My Two Close Encounters With Dis-Ease
I had to schedule my daughter's CT Scan for the year this week and so of course my stomach is in knots. When she was six months old her pediatrician requested an ultrasound of her head because her soft spot was a little high. It seemed a very normal request at the time and of course nothing could be wrong with the most beautiful little girl in the world, right? Wrong. The ultrasound revealed a 5cmx5cmx6cm arachnoid cyst. A what? A fluid cyst, caused by a blockage of cerebral spinal fluid. After I hung up with the pediatrician I called her back to make sure she said centimeters and she did. Can you imagine something that big in an infant's head with no real visible sign of trouble? Our ped, Dr. Palmer immediately got us an appointment at Texas Children's Hospital with neurosurgeon, Dr. Dauser. The first MRI was the scariest. One second she was awake and the next she was not. When she woke up we had an appointment with Dauser where we could actually see the images of her cyst, whom eventually was named Arnold. He wanted to do surgery that week as soon as possible. He gave me two choices. Shunt or fenestration. How do you make that decision for a little baby? A shunt is like a check valve in her brain with a tube attached that allows the cerebral spinal fluid to flow into her stomach and absorb back into her body. It is permanent and it faces the risks of infection and replacement. Fenestration is where surgeons actually go into the brain and attempt to fix the problem permanently. Well, I am no doctor and do not claim to know which is better, but I chose the shunt. It is a pressureless one so it she can still lead a normal lifestyle without having any limitations on life, except no full contact sports. She had brain surgery and went home the next day. How is that for amazing? So far so good. She is about to be 2 and is the smartest cookie in the whole box, not to mention gorgeous. I can't predict the future, but I do know that I am grateful for where we are now. In December, we will have our 2nd after surgery CT scan to verify that "Arnold" is still small and harmless and that the shunt is working properly. There are alot of people out there with arachnoid cysts that have not been so lucky in finding treatments or even doctors who will help them. Arachnoid cysts can cause all kinds of other problems for the person who has them. Seizures, blindness,migraines,etc...Take a moment and go to one of the sites that support them and help spread the awareness.
Arachnoid Cyst Awareness
I was also introduced to another disease this year that I was unaware of. My mom was diagnosed with Guillain-Barre Syndrome in January. I had never heard of it at the time and still have only heard it mentioned a couple of times on House. It is basically where you are paralyzed, but your nerves still work and you can feel pain. She was complaining one night that her arm felt weird and she felt weak. She had experienced fever a few days before, but that did not seem relative at the time. My family on my mother's side has a large history of diabetes, heart disease and stroke so her arm feeling odd really worried her. My sister took her to the emergency room. Unable to pinpoint the problem they kept her overnight. By the next day she lost use of her legs and arms and could not move on her own. How insane is that? After seeing two neurologists and having done ever test in the world she was diagnosed with Guillain-Barre. The crazy thing about it is that they cannnot tell you how bad it is or even if you would ever recover. There is not enough research on this disease. Mom laid in the hospital bed, day after day, unable to move, but completely suffering in pain. She had many bad nights there because a large portion of the staff seemed unaware that she needed to constantly be moved and massaged. they treated her like she was paralyzed. Well you can't feel pain when you are paralyzed, but you sure as hell can when you have Guillain-Barre. Mom is very lucky. After being treated with rounds of antibodies she regained the use of her arms and was able to begin physical therapy. I think learning to walk again may have been the scariest part of it all for her. She had to learn to trust a body that have given up on her before and learn to be physically independent again. I think her greatest therapy and healing came when she was finally released from the hospital and came home to play with her grandaughter. Mom has made for the most part a full recovery. She is walking and back at work. The downside is that now she is more succeptable to Guillain-Barre. She cannot take vaccines and has to be really careful about upsetting her immune system. more research should be done. most people who suffer from this disease are not so lucky. Some can never walk again and others even die. it all depends on how fast the problem is recognized and treated. Look into a Guillain-Barre. Help spread the knowledge.
Guillain-Barre Syndrome
I had to schedule my daughter's CT Scan for the year this week and so of course my stomach is in knots. When she was six months old her pediatrician requested an ultrasound of her head because her soft spot was a little high. It seemed a very normal request at the time and of course nothing could be wrong with the most beautiful little girl in the world, right? Wrong. The ultrasound revealed a 5cmx5cmx6cm arachnoid cyst. A what? A fluid cyst, caused by a blockage of cerebral spinal fluid. After I hung up with the pediatrician I called her back to make sure she said centimeters and she did. Can you imagine something that big in an infant's head with no real visible sign of trouble? Our ped, Dr. Palmer immediately got us an appointment at Texas Children's Hospital with neurosurgeon, Dr. Dauser. The first MRI was the scariest. One second she was awake and the next she was not. When she woke up we had an appointment with Dauser where we could actually see the images of her cyst, whom eventually was named Arnold. He wanted to do surgery that week as soon as possible. He gave me two choices. Shunt or fenestration. How do you make that decision for a little baby? A shunt is like a check valve in her brain with a tube attached that allows the cerebral spinal fluid to flow into her stomach and absorb back into her body. It is permanent and it faces the risks of infection and replacement. Fenestration is where surgeons actually go into the brain and attempt to fix the problem permanently. Well, I am no doctor and do not claim to know which is better, but I chose the shunt. It is a pressureless one so it she can still lead a normal lifestyle without having any limitations on life, except no full contact sports. She had brain surgery and went home the next day. How is that for amazing? So far so good. She is about to be 2 and is the smartest cookie in the whole box, not to mention gorgeous. I can't predict the future, but I do know that I am grateful for where we are now. In December, we will have our 2nd after surgery CT scan to verify that "Arnold" is still small and harmless and that the shunt is working properly. There are alot of people out there with arachnoid cysts that have not been so lucky in finding treatments or even doctors who will help them. Arachnoid cysts can cause all kinds of other problems for the person who has them. Seizures, blindness,migraines,etc...Take a moment and go to one of the sites that support them and help spread the awareness.
Arachnoid Cyst Awareness
I was also introduced to another disease this year that I was unaware of. My mom was diagnosed with Guillain-Barre Syndrome in January. I had never heard of it at the time and still have only heard it mentioned a couple of times on House. It is basically where you are paralyzed, but your nerves still work and you can feel pain. She was complaining one night that her arm felt weird and she felt weak. She had experienced fever a few days before, but that did not seem relative at the time. My family on my mother's side has a large history of diabetes, heart disease and stroke so her arm feeling odd really worried her. My sister took her to the emergency room. Unable to pinpoint the problem they kept her overnight. By the next day she lost use of her legs and arms and could not move on her own. How insane is that? After seeing two neurologists and having done ever test in the world she was diagnosed with Guillain-Barre. The crazy thing about it is that they cannnot tell you how bad it is or even if you would ever recover. There is not enough research on this disease. Mom laid in the hospital bed, day after day, unable to move, but completely suffering in pain. She had many bad nights there because a large portion of the staff seemed unaware that she needed to constantly be moved and massaged. they treated her like she was paralyzed. Well you can't feel pain when you are paralyzed, but you sure as hell can when you have Guillain-Barre. Mom is very lucky. After being treated with rounds of antibodies she regained the use of her arms and was able to begin physical therapy. I think learning to walk again may have been the scariest part of it all for her. She had to learn to trust a body that have given up on her before and learn to be physically independent again. I think her greatest therapy and healing came when she was finally released from the hospital and came home to play with her grandaughter. Mom has made for the most part a full recovery. She is walking and back at work. The downside is that now she is more succeptable to Guillain-Barre. She cannot take vaccines and has to be really careful about upsetting her immune system. more research should be done. most people who suffer from this disease are not so lucky. Some can never walk again and others even die. it all depends on how fast the problem is recognized and treated. Look into a Guillain-Barre. Help spread the knowledge.
Guillain-Barre Syndrome
Monday, August 31, 2009
Simply Happy
I really do enjoy the simple things. I feel very blessed that I am aware enough of my own being to notice them. It takes more effort than most people realize to just stop and take a moment to be really excited and grateful for the world around you. People spend alot of money on life coaches and self help books to train them to think this way. If I could afford a life coach I would have one too. Lol. The truth of it all is, if you spent five minutes a day being grateful, your life would change. Any motivational speaker, life coach, teacher of "The Secret", even Joel Olsteen would tell you the same thing. Be still for a moment. Use that stillness to reflect on all of the good in your life. Those little thoughts of gratitude mulitply and your half empty glass eventually will overflow with joy. It is an easy concept to embrace. Having a positive attitude will bring positive changes to your life and to the people around you. Joy is contagious. Good deeds and simple acts of kindness are catching. Your life will be as you perceive it. My favorite time of the day is when I taste that first sip of coffee. My favorite time of night is when I am laying by my daughter playing with her hair while she goes to sleep. I spend all of the time in between giving my best effort to smiling. I do my best to be simply happy. Alot of positve things have happened to me these last couple of years. I very much believe it has to do with the way I see myself and my life. I'm grateful for the changes and hopeful for the future. If you just don't feel right make a change. Search for a new perspective and live life to its greatest potential. I recommend Joel Olsteen's Become A Better You (on mp3 becasue his voice makes it even better) for religious and non-religious people. Also, check into The Secret. Don't dimiss it too quickly. It has alot to say.
Friday, August 28, 2009
My Dad the Book Critic
My dad is an amazing man. My favorite color is yellow because I remember him always choosing the yellow game pieces when I was younger. He is the reason I love Shakespeare and gets full credit for my eccletic music tastes. He adopted me when I was four years old and has since remained a quiet, thoughtful hero in my life. One thing I have noticed recently is that he writes excellent book reviews. Seriously. He posts them on goodreads. I enjoy them so much, possibly in a comforting manner, that I am going to be reposting them here. I hope you enjoy them as well...
08/26 Clint gave 3 stars to: The Beautiful Struggle: A Father, Two Sons, and an Unlikely Road to Manhood by Ta-Nehisi Coates
status: Read in August, 2009
The first chapter of this book gave me the impression that this was a story of growing up in the inner city of Baltimore which piqued my curiosity. It is less that and more a memoir about the author and his family. His parents emphasis on knowledge and education are inspiring. Coates prose and use of language are masterful.
The father is a fascinating character: A former prominent Black Panther expelled from the party and declared an enemy of the people who starts a publishing company reprinting works of African History.
08/26 Clint gave 3 stars to: The Other Side of the Mountain: The End of the Journey by Thomas Merton
status: Read in September, 2008
For a monk devoted to contemplation and solitude Merton had a busy social life, but his contradictions make him all the more interesting. I thought there was a lot of material here that should have been edited, but that is to be expected in a posthumous publication. There is, however, plenty of first rate material here.
There is this strange and disturbing foreshadowing throughout the book and he contemplates whether or not to go to the conference in Bangkok, wonders if he can obtain permission to go and ponders the logistics of the trip.
This is the first of his journals that I have read and after reading this I would like to read more of them.
Riddle: What do Thomas Merton and John Lennon have in common?
They were both killed by fans.
08/26 Clint gave 2 stars to: Masters of Atlantis by Charles Portis
status: Read in August, 2009
This is probably a better book than I give it credit for. I thought the of the humor and satire were too easy and obvious of targets. Maybe I just wasn't in the mood for comedy and satire.
Portis's prose is fairly good and he has a nice style. I may try another of his books.
08/26 Clint gave 3 stars to: The Beautiful Struggle: A Father, Two Sons, and an Unlikely Road to Manhood by Ta-Nehisi Coates
status: Read in August, 2009
The first chapter of this book gave me the impression that this was a story of growing up in the inner city of Baltimore which piqued my curiosity. It is less that and more a memoir about the author and his family. His parents emphasis on knowledge and education are inspiring. Coates prose and use of language are masterful.
The father is a fascinating character: A former prominent Black Panther expelled from the party and declared an enemy of the people who starts a publishing company reprinting works of African History.
08/26 Clint gave 3 stars to: The Other Side of the Mountain: The End of the Journey by Thomas Merton
status: Read in September, 2008
For a monk devoted to contemplation and solitude Merton had a busy social life, but his contradictions make him all the more interesting. I thought there was a lot of material here that should have been edited, but that is to be expected in a posthumous publication. There is, however, plenty of first rate material here.
There is this strange and disturbing foreshadowing throughout the book and he contemplates whether or not to go to the conference in Bangkok, wonders if he can obtain permission to go and ponders the logistics of the trip.
This is the first of his journals that I have read and after reading this I would like to read more of them.
Riddle: What do Thomas Merton and John Lennon have in common?
They were both killed by fans.
08/26 Clint gave 2 stars to: Masters of Atlantis by Charles Portis
status: Read in August, 2009
This is probably a better book than I give it credit for. I thought the of the humor and satire were too easy and obvious of targets. Maybe I just wasn't in the mood for comedy and satire.
Portis's prose is fairly good and he has a nice style. I may try another of his books.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
Def Jam Poetry Sarah Kay-Hands
Check out Sarah Kay- Spoken Word Poet-a friend of mine turned me on to this and I find myself always going back to it...
Sarah Kay Hands
Sarah Kay Hands
Let the Blogging Begin
I have never stuck to keeping up with any of my other blogs, but I believe I will stick this one out. I have recently published my first children's book and I feel it could benefit me greatly to get further involved with online communities. My book, Skeeter Sneeter Doodlebop, was published by Nimblebooks, LLC just this year. If you have kids, know some or just like kid's books (like me) give it a read. If you would like to preview it you can go to www.BookBuzzr.com and there you can actually flip through the pages. For writers out there who want to get word out about your book, they offer a really cool free service that just creates a widget that allows readers to look through it. I also just received approval that my book about manners, also based on Skeeter is going to be published. I'm really enjoing this experience. When I was little I always wanted to be a writer (after giving up on being a rocket scientist). Now here I am 30, just now going to college with my first child and BAM!, fulfilling a childhood dream. It is almost surreal. My best friend, Amy is an extremely talented artist who illustrates the stories. I have dubbed her, "the killastrator". Let's see, what else about me. I like to dabble in paint. I absolutely love black and white photos. I am in college for process technology and am in Phi Theta Kappa. I guess that is it for now. From now on will be just stories, thoughts,websites, etc.
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